Is there a Santa Claus?

From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897.



We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:



"Dear Editor--I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.' Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?"

Virginia O'Hanlon 115 West Ninety-fifth Street



Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.



Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.



Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.



You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.



No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Almost Christmas

I think I feel almost giddy. Today, I did three home visits. I went and visited with a teenager who has not been living in her mother's care for more than two years. She has most recently been in a residential facility in Florida, and due to good behavior, was able to come home for the holidays. I met with her, her sister, and her mom this afternoon, and it felt so wonderful. I think what felt good was that Nikita was so happy to be home with family, and that I was able to advocate for this trip and to facilitate it and actually make it happen. The second visit I did was to a 12-year-old who has been living in a group home for the past month. Although living there isn't the greatest thing in the world, he has been happy there. It was sad, because he did not get the Christmas presents that he was hoping for from CFSA, and he will not be able to see his mother for Christmas (because she is in detox). But, he was happy to see me, just the same, and he will be able to spend time with his sister on Christmas. The last visit I did was to his sister. She is 14, and lives in a foster home. It felt so good to see her for several reasons. One, she is doing so well in this foster home, and even though I had to remove her from her mother a few months ago, she seems happy. Second, there was a long time that she did not like me and was very angry with me, because I removed her from home. However, she now actually seems genuinely happy to see me, and she even gave me a Christmas present. She will also get to spend Christmas with her brother which will be good for her.



I think now that Christmas is just two days away, I feel all happy and less stressed. I can't quite describe why exactly. But it just feels like a happy time of year. I'm trying to put it into words and I'm failing miserably. I feel good as a social worker, because all of my kids are safe and happy, and I was able to make real changes in some of their lives this year. My job is hard and at times, painful. But, to see the happiness in Nikita's face when she got to see her mom this afternoon, and in Shardonna's face when I dropped by unannounced to see her at her foster home, it makes the painfulness of my job worthwhile. I didn't get Shardonna and Jamal presents because I thought if I did that then I should get all of my kids (which number nine now) presents. But, when I saw them today, it felt wrong. I feel like they have been through a whole lot this year, and really all their lives, and that I have become one of the few people in their lives that they really trust. And it felt like, when I saw them tonight, that I should give them some kind of present to show them that they are special to me. I'll drop by on Monday with some presents (although at this time, I have no clue what to get them!). I know that Christmas is about much more than giving and receiving presents, but I think that maybe giving some sort of small gift just to show that you care can go a long way. I should have realized that before today.



Anyways, I don't know where the year has gone. I spent the holidays (well, the day after Christmas through after New Year's) in South Carolina last year. This year, I have Robbie here with me. I have now been in my current job a year. It just feels like the time has gone by so quickly, and I'm afraid that means I'm getting old :) But, all in all, I feel very good about life, and know that this year, though almost gone, I have learned a lot about life and a lot about myself. And, I think that's a good thing.

Really long day

It's been a long day. It began with my supervisor talking to us about the shooting that occurred at my office over the weekend. This was news to me. Apparently, the director of intake and investigations (I think) has been getting death threats recently, and on Sunday while she was working, someone shot at her from outside her office window. I guess she was not in the office, as nobody was hurt. But, the scary part is that it is believed that the death threats and violence are coming from someone within my agency! Someone that we all work with is who is thought to be responsible for this! That scares the shit out of me! Here I am, feeling pretty safe in my little office building downtown amidst all sorts of federal buildings. I don't feel safe when I do home visits (I carried my pepper spray while walking to and from an apartment tonight) but at least I felt safe in my little cubicle. But instead, now I wonder if someone in my office is going to fall victim to senseless acts of violence. I don't like that feeling. I don't want to have to wonder if I am going to be safe at work. I think about it enough on home visits, walking through my own parking lot in the evening, walking to the Metro at night. I want there to be one place in my little world that I feel completely safe. And, if that is not possible in the DC Metro area, then I need to move.



The next funnest part of my day was a home visit that I did. I really only needed to go do this visit to ensure the apartment was safe enough for a child to live in for two days over the holidays. Short visit, in and out in about 30 minutes. Nope. I was there for two hours. Even though I said several times that I really needed to go, and even though I completely explained how I had to take the agency car back to the office and then ride the Metro all the way out to the end of the line, and even though I put my coat on and walked over to the door...it still took me two hours to get out of there. This is after walking three blocks down a street in NE DC to get to and from my car. On the way back to my car around 7:30 this evening, there were two cops there...one pulling into a parking lot with his lights on, and another cop conveniently parked in the middle of the sidewalk. The first cop started running code right when he passed me, and then pulled into a parking lot right next to me. I was sure he was going to ask me what I was doing walking down the street at night (little white girl...in an all not-white neighborhood). But, apparently he was going to arrest someone else. So I kept walking, walked by the cop who was parked on the sidewalk (he just nodded his head at me and kept going), walked around his cruiser, and made it to my car unscathed. But, I was on the ready just in case someone wanted to get by those two cops and get to me. I had my pepper spray in one hand, and my keys in the other. Are we getting the idea that SAFETY IS AN ISSUE????



Finally, to top the evening off, Robbie found out that his schedule for Christmas Eve and Christmas changed. I won't really get to spend any time with him at all on Christmas. Originally, he would be starting work at 3, which sucks, but I get the morning with him. Now, he can either start at 10 and work until 8, or start at noon and work until 10. Both of them mean that I can't really spend time with him Christmas morning, and there is no way that he will be able to have dinner with my family either. Furthermore, he is working until 2 am on Christmas Eve (I guess that's really Christmas morning) so he is going to be really tired after his Christmas shift and I won't get to spend time with him that night either. I think it sucks. He's angry. And there isn't shit that can be done about it. So, since I can't fix it and neither can he, and me getting pissed at him isn't going to make the situation any better, I figure I'll rant on here for a minute.



Like I said, it's been a really long day. I'm too tired to rant anymore tonight.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Again, I feel like I have been so busy, and have not taken time to write on this blog. So, let me try to correct this, at least in a short post.



Last weekend we went to Butler's Orchard and cut down our Christmas tree. It was fun; I have never actually cut down my tree before. Then, we went to Target, Walmart, Lowe's, and Target again, trying to find decorations, a tree skirt, etc. I also got Christmas cards, because the plan was to get them all sent before the middle of December. So, last Saturday night, we played Christmas music and decorated the tree (See tree below). It was a lot of fun.







So far, I have written almost all of my cards. I have a few that I wrote tonight that need to go into the mail, but I'm mostly done with that task. You can see in the foreground of this picture a ball of yarn. About a month ago, Becca was teaching me to crochet. I keep getting frustrated with it, so I haven't gotten very far with it. But, I'm trying to crochet a scarf, or something simple to begin with. Maybe I'll actually finish it one day.



Here is another picture of the tree. I think the picture looks a bit crooked, but it shows all of the presents under the tree! (Actually, I think most of those gifts are for Robbie, not me. But that's okay.)

Finally!

I'm finally getting around to updating my blog. I know everyone has been holding their breath until my next post. I've been so busy though I just haven't had time. This time, that's actually true (sort of). I had gotten used to updating during work hours. However, I was really busy at work right before we went on vacation. Things got really crazy last Tuesday, the day we were leaving for South Carolina, and we didn't end up leaving DC until almost 7 p.m. Three hours later, after we had traveled a whopping 55 miles (yes, over a three hour time period) we decided to stop at a Waffle House and have a yummy dinner. Then, I picked up the driving. However, by 1 a.m. I was sooo tired, and we had to stop in North Carolina and sleep.



Our vacation was nice (well, as nice as a vacation can be when it is with family). We got to spend Thanksgiving with some of Robbie's relatives. Then, on Black Friday, we braved a couple of stores for some Christmas shopping. Interestingly enough, the only things that we bought were for ourselves :-D Saturday, we went to Charleston to see some more of Robbie's family, and we went to eat at this really good restaurant called California Dreaming. We then drove through a three-mile loop of an amazing Christmas light display. There were some really cool lights, however the pictures we took don't do them justice. Once I find Robbie's camera, maybe I'll post one or two of the pictures.



This week, I want to go to Target or Walmart or Lowe's to get some Christmas decorations. We are going to go on Saturday and cut down a Christmas tree at a tree farm. I'm so excited. I love Christmas, and I get into the decorating and all that fun stuff. Robbie was telling me about how he used to go out and shoot mistletoe out of trees when he was younger. We probably won't go to that extent, but it will be fun just the same.



I am about halfway through the Dan Brown book Digital Fortress (last of the books that I have read, first that Dan Brown wrote). As was all of the others, this one is good. The characters aren't quite as well developed, but I'm quite enjoying the book. It will probably get sent out to California for Kath to read when I'm done with it (under the guise of a Christmas present).



Anyways, I guess that's all for now. I'll try to be more diligent about updating more often.

What I did on my summer vacation...um, I mean on my birthday

So, I had a pretty good birthday. I got lots of stuff, and I guess I should list what I got so I don't get duplicates for Christmas. So, I'll give a quick list:

• Celtic knot ring
• Terps red hooded sweatshirt
• Terps license plate frame
• mp3 player
• coloring book and art stuff :-D
• foot jewelry (or something like that)

So, anything on my previous list that is not on the above list is still fair game. Some of the things that I remember from memory, without looking at my wish list is: towels, bedding set, anything from Victoria's Secret...I can't remember anything else offhand. But I'll keep thinking about what I want for Christmas.

So back to my birthday...it was good. I got to sleep late. And then Robbie and I went for a walk at Greenbelt Park. We made the mistake of going out to Tyson's Corner for dinner right at rush hour...it took an hour and a half to get there. But we had a good dinner at Rainforest Cafe, and then had cake at Mom and Dad's. I got to talk to my sister when I was opening presents, so that was fun. Otherwise, I guess it was just a regular day. And now I'm one year older (for those of you playing along at home, that would make me 26). But life is good, so I guess 26 is okay :)

Getting old

I'm turning old tomorrow. Or I guess I'm turning older, not necessarily old (my sister might beat me with a stick if I say I'm old). I have felt kind of frazzled today at work. Court went well, because I finally closed a case! Yay! I feel like hard work and diligence paid off! Well, it sounds good anyways. And it's nice to get praise and recognition from judges and lawyers, because it doesn't happen that much. But I always make an effort to turn my court reports in on time (which technically means ten business days before court). Not many social workers actually do that. Well, the judge and one of the attorneys gave me recognition for such a timely court report. It made me feel good. I guess I should feel good because I know I'm doing the best I can do. But praise helps, too :)



I planned to bust my butt and do a court report and social summary from the time court ended (so, say about 12:30) until my home visit, which I have to leave for at 6:30. I was going to get so much accomplished. Well, a coworker called in sick, and so now I have to spend the afternoon taking two of my kids to therapy, which is not a difficult task, it is just extremely time consuming. Therapy is at 4:15, but I have to leave at 3 to go get the kids, take them to therapy, and then take them home afterwards, which burns my entire afternoon. So, instead of getting to work on all of my stuff, I will be busy from 3 until probably about 5:45. I guess I can work from 5:45 until 6:30, but by then I'm just going to be drained, cranky, and tired. I completed my court report, so I'm taking a few moments to just unwind and write before I have to go play chauffeur.



Back to my birthday :) I'm excited. I always get excited for my birthday, although I'm not sure why. It's not because of presents or whatever. I think I just like the attention (hehehe!). I'm taking off work to just relax tomorrow. And when you say it's your birthday, everyone is like, "Oh, happy birthday!" like that's the best thing they have heard all day. But, again, like the praise, it's nice to hear :)



I'm just all about myself today... :-P

Cool website

Mike showed me this cool website where he designed his own stuff for his riding group. Apparently, you can send in your own designs, and this company will make you up clothing and different things with your design. Pretty cool, huh?

Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue

Being Veteran's Day, it seems appropriate to write something about our men and women who are currently and have, in the past, served our country. I hope that everyone in this country thinks about them, prays for them, and thanks them on a daily basis for what they give up for us. I have only really known two people who have served in our armed forces - my brother-in-law and my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I don't remember a whole lot about Mike when he was in the Navy. I know that he spent a good deal of time away from his family, and he was willing to go out and die for his country. Robbie, who has only been out of the Army for a year, has a very real chance of being recalled to assist his country in the war against terrorism. Robbie saw things and experienced things that he would never want to again. He spent five years away from his family and loved ones, and was put in harm's way. He has the very real possibility of being called back up to go to the Middle East, and he would go without question if he were called. How many of us can honestly say that we would, willingly, put ourselves in danger for our country? Sitting here watching Saving Private Ryan, it gives me renewed appreciation of those that serve our country. I am in awe of the strength and bravery that it must take to put one's country ahead of oneself.

Update on wish list

OK, so I guess I should update my blog if I end up getting something off of the Christmas wish list (for example, for my birthday). Well, I really wanted the Toby Keith CD, so I got it for myself this evening. So, that one can come off. I'll see if I can think of something to replace it on the list.

My wish list

With the holidays coming (holidays, meaning my birthday and Christmas), I've been asked to make a list of things that I want. Even though I try very hard to pretend I'm not spoiled, when I try to make a list, I realize just how spoiled I really am. Thus far, I have come up with three concrete things to put on my list: a red hooded MD sweatshirt (I saw one that I liked at the store on campus); a Celtic knot ring like the one I lost last year at the lake house; and an IPod or Dell Digital Jukebox. There are things I always want, such as anything from Victoria's Secret, purses, clothes, jewelry. But, those things are not specific, and thus are not good items to put on a list (so I've been told, anyway).



So I'm sitting here, being a slacker (again), and trying to come up with a wish list. Here's my best attempt thus far.

• A new Terps license plate frame.
• A 2005 calendar.
• The new Toby Keith CD.
• A Barnes and Noble gift card.
• A pair of WARM winter gloves (all the gloves I have don't really keep my hands warm).
• A dressy watch.
• A Victoria's Secret gift card.
• A gift certificate for a massage (such as SpaWish).
• A crock pot.
• A new bedding set.
• Anything else that you think I might like!

I know that most of the time, people don't like to get gift certificates. I, myself, like to be able to get someone something personal. But, when all else fails, gift certificates work.

**Note: This list is in no way requiring that people who do not ordinarily get me gifts to buy me gifts for my birthday and/or Christmas. It is just the product of brainstorming that is being done on my blog instead of on a piece of notebook paper. This list is mainly for my family and Robbie.

Walmart and such

Like I anticipated, I did nothing today. Robbie slept most of the day since he worked all night. I enjoyed the quiet of the house and read into the middle of the afternoon. I got up and cleaned up the kitchen for a little while. Then I read some more. I had planned to wash a couple of loads of laundry, but Robbie woke up and said we could do it tomorrow. And, being the slug that I have been all day, I said okay. So then, I read some more.



I finished up The Brethren. It was pretty good, not as good as some of Grisham's earlier novels. But, it kept my interest and I finished it pretty quickly. I think I'm going to start on Digital Fortress next. I have read all of Dan Brown's other novels, and I'm curious to see how this one ranks.



I need to go to Walmart. That will probably be one of the only things that gets accomplished tomorrow. I'll get up and go to Church, maybe get one or two loads of clothes washed, and hopefully get out to Walmart. I usually go to Target instead of Walmart for a variety of reasons. One, Target is closer. There is a Target that is about five minutes away whereas Walmart is a good fifteen or twenty minutes from my house. Two, Target has more upscale products. In general, I would rather buy something from Target, such as underwear or the like, than I would from Walmart. Third, Walmart usually has scary people shopping in their stores. If you have never heard it, I urge you to listen to Rodney Carrington's routine about Walmart. The most disturbing part about it is that most of what he says is true. But, I digress. As I said, I need to go to Walmart to get some dishes. We have been in this apartment for going on three months, and we have five plates to eat off of. And, two of those plates are my mom's. Same goes for bowls. So, I want to go to Walmart to get a set of Corelle dishes. They are not good and expensive like Pfaltzgraff or Lenox. But, it will give me another four plates and bowls so I don't have to wash dishes so often. I need a few other items that I can get from Walmart (toiletries and the such). But, the main part of my mission is to get dishes. Robbie says that we can use paper plates, but it would be nice to have some sort of set of dishes that we can use if and when we decide to have people come over to our apartment. So, my day tomorrow will prove to be as uneventful and mundane as today was. How is it that every weekend I plan to get so much done, and when the weekend finally gets here, it flies by and nothing gets accomplished?

Roses are...white!

Flowers that were given to me for no reason at all...isn't that sweet? :-P

White is my favorite color of the day

I came home from work today with a headache, and I took some medicine and then took a nap. When I got up, Robbie had gotten me a dozen white roses, I think to make me feel better. He knows how down I get about having all these headaches, and it was a very nice surprise. It made me smile :-D I took some pictures, but when I went to upload them on here (so everyone could see and be envious!) I couldn't find my USB cable. Hopefully I'll find it tomorrow and then I can put a picture on here. I feel so loved!

New name

I'm trying to come up with a better name and/or description for my blog. I'm just not satisfied with what I have (of course is anyone, ever??). However, I'm drawing a blank, and I'm just not sure what to write. I want something cute and catchy, something that will reflect my personality. Oh well. I'll keep thinking.

I'm done ranting...

I will say that I appreciate the comments from Melissa and Eddy. I hear you and appreciate that you defend your candidate. I, however, still believe that Bush has done damage to some Americans, especially the poor and disenfranchised. I see so many people that I work with who would benefit from better health care, better mental health services, better schools. I realize that Kerry had lofty ideals that would have been difficult to fund. However, I agreed more with his ideals than I do Bush's, and I feel that many people are going to remain disadvantaged while Bush is in the White House. That being said, I respect the fact that Bush is going to be the President for the next four years, and I will do my best to support him as much as I can tolerate.



OK, tirade over.



Other stuff...



I lead a dull life. I don't have any plans for the weekend, except to wash clothes and perhaps clean the house. I have another headache, and can not figure out what is causing them. I'm reading a Grisham novel, The Brethren. I think it's a few years old, but so far it's pretty good. I also have a few LSAT study books lying around that I keep meaning to go through. I really need to set aside several hours, take one of the LSAT practice tests, and see what it is really like. I just can't decide if I'm motivated enough to go back to school. Anyways, I think I need a nap. But instead, I guess I'll go meet with my supervisor. TTFN!

Elephants suck!

At least I'm not the only one who is completely disappointed by the election results. (Click here, and here, and here...) I was going to stay away from political discussion on this blog, but I feel compelled to say something. Someone please explain to me what Bush has done that has been so great in the past four years? Please? I'm listening. Because, I haven't seen it. Although I have been accused of it, I don't dislike Bush because he is a Republican. I dislike him because he hasn't done anything for this country. Let me rephrase...he hasn't done anything positive for this country. He has decreased funding for mental health. He has concocted some crazy Medicare plan that has no hopes of helping poor people. He has sent so many young men and women over to Iraq and then given them no chance of making any progress. It seems to be more of a death sentence than a peace-keeping mission. So, I ask again, what has Bush done? I know that some argue that the country would be in worse shape if someone else were in the White House when 9/11 happened. Fine, he handled 9/11 in some sort of okay manner. How about the other 45 months that he has been in office? All I have seen him do is alter the English language during his speeches and...well, that's about all I have seen him do. I'm not saying that Kerry would have changed the face of politics as we know it. But, I think we should have given someone else the chance to make a difference. Oh well. We still have 2008 to look forward to.

Lack of motivation

I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like the past couple of days at work, I can not motivate myself to do much of anything! I've done some small tasks, such as make phone calls, schedule appointments, and write up a memo. But, I have a big packet of information I need to put together, including a pretty extensive social history, and I just can not motivate myself to do it! It seems like I find somebody else to call or something else to do (including updating my blog) so I can keep putting this thing off. My mom even made the mistake of saying that she sometimes plays (gasp!) Freecell at work, which prompted me to see if it is also on my work computer. Curses! It is! So, that is just yet another thing to occupy my time.



Today, I'm thinking I might need to leave a bit early (shocker, eh?) so I can get to the polls. It sounds like I may be waiting for two hours to cast my vote today, and I'm thinking if I can get there a little early, maybe I'll miss some of the crowds. I'm certainly not missing my chance to vote Mr. Bush out of office. And, who knows...afterall, the Redskins did lose on Sunday...so that means that Kerry should be the winner. I know it's too close to call, but if we all focus our energy on thinking that Kerry will win...well, draw your own conclusions. So, all you Democrats get out there and vote! (I'm sure this is just killing all of my Republican readers!)



OK, I've stalled long enough. Let me go find something else to do...um, I mean, let me go work on that social history :-D

Oh well

I don't know what else to try. I tried to put that picture of me and Robbie with the rest of the pictures from Saturday night. But, no matter what I did or tried, it changed into a box with a red X in it. I wanted to add a title, and it wouldn't let me. I wanted to change the color and font of the text so that it matched the rest of this blog, and it wouldn't let me. No matter what, it changed to that red X. So, I uploaded it with a caption, and that is how it will stay. I know I'm probably the only one that cares that it doesn't have a title and that the caption is a different color than the rest of the text on this site. What can I say...I guess I'm just weird. If anyone knows how to fix this so that the picture doesn't turn into an X, let me know.

Which one of us is sober??? 

The human head weighs eight pounds

Here are some other interesting facts regarding the human body.



I went and had my CAT scan. (Here is what my head SHOULD look like.) No news. The guy who put me in the machine and actually did the scan probably did not speak doctor-ese, and would not have been able to read the scan. He told me that the doctor would read it and then send the report to my doctor in about one or two business days. So right now, I just have to figure that I'm not dying yet. Interestingly, I have felt better the past two days than I have in the past few weeks. No idea why. But I'm not going to complain.



As you can see, I posted some pictures to my blog last night. I had a cute picture of me and Robbie to post, but every time I posted it, it just came up as a box with a red X in it. I can not figure out why the other pics posted with no issues, and then the one of us would not post at all. It was very annoying. Maybe I'll try again tonight and see if it changes its mind and works.

Saturday night

We went bowling Saturday night - we being me, Robbie, Becca, Chris, and Pat. Bowled poorly, but had fun. Here are some choice pics from our evening after bowling, hanging out at Becca and Chris' house.





Here's Pat! Watchin' the game, drinkin' some suds...





Becca and Chris...not exactly sure what they are doing...





Now this one is better...at least they are smiling!

Frost...

Robert, not Jack.



It may be obvious that I am completely bored at work today. That doesn't mean that I have nothing to do. On the contrary, I actually need to complete a thick packet of information for an evaluation, as well as write a memo. However, I feel like doing neither of these. Instead, I would rather post on here for everyone else's amusement.



Now, back to Robert. One of my all time favorite poems is The Road Not Taken. To add some culture to this blog, I thought I would post that poem on here. So, here goes.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;



Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.



I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Notice anything different?

So, I think the pink began to be nauseating. Seeing it every day on my blog and then also on Melissa's blog, it began to be a little much. So, I thought that blue would be a nice change. It should be pleasing for most (although Robbie won't like it because it is baby blue).

Not tonight honey, I have a headache

OK, so I never say that. (Mom, if you are reading this, you can pretend that you didn't read that first line!) But, I do get headaches. And, lately, I feel like I'm getting more headaches. I don't really understand why. I don't really feel like anything has changed. I don't feel more stressed out, I can't track any foods that appear to be the culprits. I just don't get it. So, I broke down and went back to the neurologist. She gave me more prescriptions. She restarted a prescription that I took myself off of (she asked why I stopped taking it, and I couldn't remember! I'm such a bad person!). And, she gave me a prescription for a CAT scan. Some medical things are worded so funny. The prescription said "CT scan of head and contents." If they don't take a scan of the contents of the head, they really won't get much of anything, will they?



This brought up a scary thought though: What if they do a scan and there are no contents in my head??? Which would bring up another question: If there is nothing in my head, then would it be inaccurate to say that all of my brilliance and intelligence is all in my head??? (hehehe) OK, I'll stop, although I am amusing myself. :)



I guess the scarier thought is that the CAT scan will show something that is not supposed to be there, instead of showing that nothing is there at all. You always hear about these people who die of an aneurysm, and the only symptoms they had were really severe headaches. But, since thinking about what they might find will only stress me out, I won't think about that. Wish me luck though that I pass my CAT scan!



In other news...

I usually keep politics and religion out of my blog. Nobody really gives a damn about my political thoughts, and I'll get all sorts of nasty emails if I got into religion. So, we aren't going there. But, I did read an interesting article on The Washington Post webpage about Bush and religion. Like I said, I'm not going into the political stuff on this blog, but it has some interesting stuff on there, like "George Bush did what God wanted him to do." Yeah. OK. Whatever.

Stuff

I'm sure everyone is tired of hearing me complain on this blog. Tough. When things are going well, I feel like I don't have anything to write about. Maybe I'm really a glass is half empty kind of girl. I'm annoyed at my supervisor. She gave us this long speech a few weeks ago about how important supervision is, and how we need to make an effort to have supervision. Some of us made the comment that when we have come to have supervision, my supervisor has had people in her office. She said that if that happens, she will ask those people to leave because that is our time to meet. Well, the past three weeks since she has made that little speech, I have not had supervision. Today, I went at my appointed time, and she had people in her office. And, instead of having them leave, she said it was "a necessary staffing" and that we could meet in a few minutes. I have now gone back to her office three times and she isn't even there. If supervision is so important, why is it that I NEVER have it? Today when I went into her office and she was too busy to meet with me, I suggested that we change my supervision time, as she never seems to be available to me at that time. She didn't really say anything. One of her main problems is that she does not mark off our supervision time in her calendar. Then, she schedules meetings and all sorts of other stuff there so that when I come to meet with her at our scheduled time, she is busy or not there! It is soooo frustrating! I have had this same time with her since January, and I have not had supervision more times than I have!



I guess I'll try to write about something happy now. Things are going well at home. Robbie and I are getting along really well despite having to learn how to deal with each other's little habits. One issue is that neither of us is all that fond of cleaning (I guess nobody is). So we have to push ourselves to do chores. They are getting done, albeit slowly. We also don't like cooking much, though he has made more dinners than I have.



I have been getting a chance to read some, especially when Robbie is at work on Saturdays and the few late nights that he has worked. I finished Deception Point last week. I enjoyed it, but I think that Dan Brown's more recent books were better. When I get a chance, I'm going to read the first book that Dan Brown wrote, Digital Fortress, as I heard it was good as well. I'm currently reading Donnie Brasco. I can't remember why, but for some reason Robbie and I were talking about the Mafia one day, and he said I should read this book. I never saw the movie, so I don't know anything about it. So far, it's interesting. I know very little about the Mafia, so thus far it is keeping my attention. We'll see if I still like it after 300 more pages.

The Jet Set

Now I'm jealous. Apparently Tanya (my cousin, not my supervisor) is coming to MD two times in one 30 day period, going to Walt Disney World right after that, and going to Belgium right after that! So between October 28 and December 30, she will have gone all over the East Coast, and then to Europe! Does this seem fair to anyone else? And, at the end of January, she will be going to Vegas. OK, now I'm just getting mad. Apparently because Independence Air flies really cheap from Columbia, SC to other East Coast destinations, Tanya and her crew have just decided to go everywhere. I wanna go! [Insert temper tantrum here.]

Pillow talk

The solution to my sleep difficulties, it seems, lies in my pillow. The pillows that I have been using were brought with Robbie when he came up. They were, in a word, sad. I think that they were, perhaps, brought with him across the Atlantic and from Washington. So, I thought it was time to get some new pillows. Enter WalMart, stage right. We went to WalMart, and since everything is always cheap there, we decided to get two thick pillows. They were nice. New. Plump. Looked good for sleeping upon. So, we moved the old nearly-dead pillows into the hall closet (for out best visitors, of course!) and put the new pillows on the bed. Now comes the sleepless nights. I think I slept fine for a few nights. But then, I couldn't sleep! For like four nights! That's hell when you want to concentrate at work, and when you are prone to getting migraines, it's no fun either. Robbie suggested that perhaps the problem was the pillow. (I hate when he turns out to be correct!) So, in the middle of one sleepless night, I got up and grabbed the better of the dead pillows from the closet. And now, I have slept very well the past couple of nights. So, I guess even if pillows look like they could use updating, consider how well you sleep before doing so. I now have one dead and one brand new pillow for overnight guests to choose from :)

Profiling

On my profile, it says there have been 53 views of my profile. Who in the world has looked at my profile? And if anyone has looked at my profile, and thus, I assume, my blog, then why do only like two people leave comments???

Just plain tired

I seem to be having trouble sleeping the past couple of nights. Like, I can't fall asleep for several hours, and I can't stay asleep for long periods of time. As a Moien girl, this is disconcerting, because usually we can sleep anywhere at any time. I don't really understand why this phenomenon is occurring. I have thought about all the usual suspects regarding sleep problems: caffeine before bed; too much sleep earlier in the day; stress. So, let's rule them out one by one. 1) I'm addicted to caffeine. I admit it. I'm a caffeine junkie. But, as such, drinking caffeine close to bedtime does not do anything for me. Plus, I don't think I have actually had much caffeine at night recently. 2) As mentioned previously, in a Moien girl, there is rarely such a thing as too much sleep. People who know us well (us being me, Mom, Kath) know that we enjoy sleep very much. We can sleep in cars, on airplanes, on beds, couches, chairs, the floor, etc. I did take a nap yesterday afternoon because I hadn't slept the night before. But it was not a very restful nap, and I don't think it would have affected my sleep last night. 3) What is stress? I think I'm usually stressed out. And it has kept me up before. However, work is going pretty well right now. I'm feeling pretty good about my cases, I'm ahead of the game on just about everything. I don't know what would have been stressing me out. Usually, when I'm stressed, I lay in bed and think about what I'm stressing over. But, the past two nights, I have been laying there thinking about nothing except wanting to fall asleep. It's not like I'm going to bed and I'm not tired. I am tired! My eyes are droopy as I lay on the couch! I'm ready to crash and sleep for like 12 hours. But, then I get in bed - and nothing happens. My body is being very cruel!



In other news, I had to go to the DC Superior Court today to pick up drug test results for one of my 12-year-old clients as well as his mother. On the plus side, both of them are testing negative, and have been doing so for a while. On the minus side, there were really scary people there drug testing. I didn't fit in. They were looking at me like, what are you doing here? You are in the wrong place. I felt like I was in the wrong place, too. Luckily, I didn't have to stay long. I got my drug test results and walked really quickly out of that area. (I know...I'm such a princess!)



I feel like I should write more, but have no clue what else to say. I'm realizing that I could never be a writer for a living. I seem to have perpetual writer's block! C'est la vie!

This seems appropriate

In light of the comments I got on my last post, here is the story of The Little Red Hen.

Will work for food (well, sort of)

It is nearly impossible to find anyone around this agency to help you out with anything. Everyone is too busy to help a sister out. (Go, team!) They have too many visits to do, too many notes to write. The best ones are those that just don't respond when you send an email out asking for help. Everyone is also too busy to show up for Program retreats. Nobody wants to sit around and participate in team building exercises all day. The last one we had, many people, including supervisors, chose to work instead of go to a non-working retreat.



BUT add food to the mix and people come out of the woodwork. Upstairs in our big conference room, we have 23 pizzas, two sheet cakes, and ten cases of sodas. And every social worker, social services assistant, supervisor, program manager, and administrator showed up to eat! Everyone was there acting as if they love everyone else in the unit. These are the same people that wouldn't help you unless you were on fire. And, old habits die hard. Our program administrator bought all of this food for us, because we met all benchmarks for the month of August or something. But, when he asked for five people to help carry the pizzas upstairs, everyone all of a sudden forgot English. People pretended they didn't hear him. They simply ignored the request. They were too "busy" to get the pizzas, but they seemed to get unbusy awfully fast when the pizzas showed up. And, all of these people are social workers! They live to help others! I think I'm starting to lose faith in the human race.

There's no excuse

Since I'm getting harassed for not posting, I'm trying to come up with an excuse. My dog didn't die. My car didn't break down (I guess that's not really applicable anyways.) I've actually been kind of busy. But still, it doesn't feel like anything post-worthy has been going on. In short, I don't have an excuse for not posting; I just haven't done so.



Lessee...I'm the discussant for my book group this Sunday. I am discussing The Da Vinci Code. I read it once before, about a year ago, so I'm trying to finish reading it again so I can remember exactly what happened. I'm on about page 170 out of about 450, so it looks like I may be in trouble. I guess I'll spend most of Saturday reading so I can try to finish. I really liked this book and would recommend it. However, Dan Brown's first book, Angels & Demons, was better. I would highly recommend that one to everyone. It was entertaining, educational, and suspenseful. What more could one want in a book?



I assisted a coworker with a removal yesterday. She had to remove nine children from their parents. This one wasn't as traumatizing for me as my other removals as we picked the children up at school, not from their home. I guess it was also less stressful for me because I didn't know the children. But, even so, doing removals - in a word - sucks. It's sad and stressful, and it is the least fun part of my job. I realized yesterday that I have good social work skills. I was able to get three little kids (6- and 8-year-old males and a 5-year-old female) to talk to me immediately. They were friendly and even well-behaved. This was shocking in and of itself! But of course they were asking where they were going and started saying they wanted to go home. And even when home is definitely not the place for these children to be, it is so sad. These children are so resilient. I can not imagine how I would have been if I had been taken from my parents and put in some stranger's house. But, that's enough sad stuff.



I got to spend several days last week with my sister. That was really nice, as I had not seen her in a year and a half. I'm going to try to plan a trip out to Santa Barbara in the near future. I'll have to see if she has any pictures that are post-worthy.



I was very excited that American Dreams came back on last Sunday night. I don't have many TV shows that I must see, but that is one of them. I guess it's my soap opera, my little escape from reality for an hour. I love it. I would recommend it.



Since the highlights of this post are a book and a TV show, it's obvious that I don't have much of a life. But, I'm okay with that. I'll post again when I think of something exciting to talk about.

Uno!

OK. So, I think my muse went on vacation. I have been trying to figure out what to write for most of the week, and I seem to have writer's block. I guess maybe that means that nothing new is going on.



I got to go back to my childhood last night. My sister is visiting this weekend. I think that as soon as I could talk, she taught me how to play Uno. Every time she comes to visit, we play for hours. So last night, even though she was really tired, Mom, Robbie, she, and I all played Uno for about an hour. It was a lot of fun. (I think Kath was cheating though, because she kept winning!)



I guess that's the extent of my exciting life. Oh well. If something more exciting happens, I guess I'll post it. But, that's all for now.

Apartment

Pictures from the apartment (finally!)

Beach pics

Me and Robbie at the beach





Mom and Dad at the beach





Some of the bikes at the motorcycle show

Ocean City

This weekend, we went to Ocean City for the day. I haven't been to Ocean City in like six years, and from what I remember, it was beginning to get a little sketchy back then. There were all these rowdy kids (rowdier than I was, I'm sure) and half of them always seemed high. So, even though we went after Labor Day, I wasn't sure what to expect to see when we got there.



So, what did we see? About ten thousand bikers! Yay! It was somewhat overwhelming being surrounded by motorcycles and bikers and all. But, it was also kinda cool to see all the different bikes. Robbie was sure to point out to me the 43 different colors that he would like and the 16 different motorcycles that he would like to get. Now, I guess all we need is some money for said bike...



I like going to the beach. What I enjoy is laying out in the sun listening to music or reading. What I don't enjoy is going in the ocean. Well, I went in the ocean with Robbie, who was just completely thrilled to be in the water. I ended up ingesting more salt water than can be healthy and had more sand in my bathing suit than there was on the beach. Also, it is important to note, when going in the ocean, especially when there have recently been hurricanes in the vicinity, the waves tend to be really big. And when you are in really big waves, it is best to NOT WEAR A BIKINI. Yeah, I learned this from experience. 'Nuf said.



We had fun down there on Saturday (aside from my ocean-going mishaps). We got to wander up and down the boardwalk. We had lunch with Mom and Dad, who were up at the motorcycle show, sans motorcycle. (Now, does that make any sense?) And, I got tattooed! Hehe! If you are curious, ask me :-P



Since I'm updating my blog at work, I don't have any of the pictures with me. I'll post a few pictures of our trip tonight (as well as take pictures of the apartment and post them!).

Musings

I feel like I should be writing on here and updating the fun and exciting happenings of my life. Alas, there isn't a whole lot to write about right now. Plus, I have no idea who, if anyone, is still staying updated on my life via this blog, or if the novelty has worn off. But, I feel like I should write, and so write I will.



Let's see. Robbie has been up here for like 13 days (I'm not counting or anything). I think I finally feel like it's my own apartment, because I know that I can wander around naked when I get out of the shower if I want without the fear that someone might see me. But, it still kind of feels like Robbie is on an extended vacation, and that he'll be going back to South Carolina soon. I can't quite explain why, and my cousin basically told me not to overanalyze the situation. But, it bugs me. We both get up every morning and go to work. We have both gone grocery shopping. Robbie has done a bunch of stuff for the apartment, including stuff like getting the phone and cable hooked up. We also both have done some cleaning in the apartment (although one of us doesn't seem to like doing dishes so much). Still, it feels like soon he is going to go home. All I can figure is that we visited each other once a month for so many months, this just feels like September's visit. I'm really glad that he's not going anywhere. (I'm not sure he would agree with my sentiment, but he hasn't left yet, so that must be a plus.) Maybe by October, the realness of the situation will sink in. We'll see.



I keep meaning to take pictures of the apartment and post them on here, but then I get home and forget. I guess maybe I need to post notes all over the place to remind me to do it.



Living in an apartment is a new experience for me. I'm not sure what the people on the floor above me are doing. Either they are sumo wrestling every night, or it's just really easy to hear when people above are walking around. I have yet to see any 800 pound Japanese men come into our building, so I'm guessing that the latter statement is true. I wonder what I sound like walking across the apartment to the people below me?



I'm currently reading a book called Truth & Beauty. I'm not sure how I feel about it, even though I'm two-thirds of the way done. It's kind of an interesting story about life and friendship. It's one of those books that you should read when you think that you have a rough life. However, the main character, Lucy, is so clingy and needy that I'm not sure I like her.



OK, I think I'm done for right now. This was one of those posts that really has no point, but it's still a stress reliever to just sit and write for a little while.

Honk if...

Sometimes I don't think I am really from the Washington Metro area. For example, I'm not as rude as most of the people who live here. Also, I don't like to honk my horn incessantly like the majority of DC drivers. If everyone is driving slow, does it make any sense or serve any purpose to honk your horn? Maybe if you honk your horn, every car in front of you will magically speed up! I don't think so. I think that people who use their horn unnecessarily should have their cars automatically disabled. Or, they should be beat about the head with a Nerf baseball bat (that would be the more entertaining option). And these days, it seems idiotic to honk one's horn unnecessarily, because people will get out of the car and shoot you! IMHO, it makes more sense to just cuss through the windshield at a stupid or inconsiderate driver because I won't get shot for doing so. But that's just me. Maybe I'll write to GM and see about getting Nerf bats installed in all of the 2006 vehicles.

It's here!

Yes, it's that time of year again when all Greenbelters can smell hot funnel cakes, and we all recite with the BINGO callers, "The little one, B-1!" If this doesn't make any sense to you, then you need to come to the Greenbelt Labor Day Festival, this weekend only! It's worth coming to, if just once in your life. If you feel that you are too old for carnival rides (or afraid that the Ferris wheel might break down and roll away with you), then you can come for the BINGO. Or the food. Or the used book sale. Or, you can come to see what we affectionately refer to as "Greenbelt People." Again, if you have never been to Greenbelt, or to the fair in general, then you should come just to see the Greenbelt People. But, I digress.



Greenbelt is full of history and life. Yes, it is true that many of the inhabitants of this small town are about 117 years old. But, Greenbelt can be fun-filled and exciting! (OK, not really, but it sounds good, right??) Immerse yourself into the history by watching the Miss Greenbelt Pageant and cheering for your favorite (we also have Little Miss and Junior Miss Pageants, too!). Come sit with the young and old, educated and thugs, and play BINGO (Blackout starts at about 11 p.m.). Have your fill of funnel cake, pizza pretzels, potato pancakes, cotton candy, fajitas, and more! It's the one time of year in our little world where we can be silly, eat whatever we want, and just destress for a little while. It's the perfect way to end the summer season!

It's official

I am finally all moved in (well, pretty much) to my apartment. After two very exhausting days of moving and unpacking, Robbie and I actually have our apartment in pretty good shape. The four thousand boxes that we moved in have been unpacked (except for two of mine). We threw away 7 tons of stuff that we decided we could do without. I was even able to throw away things that I thought I would die without (such as old school ID cards, my baby pillow, and a variety of other items). It was weird sitting down the past few nights and realizing that is now my home, and that at the end of the day, I would be staying there and not going home to mom and dad's. Not a bad feeling, but I need to get used to it.

Stress

Tip of the day: If you don't like stress, don't be a social worker.

I don't know which is worse

Last week I complained about having nothing to do. Today, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan. You see, as a social worker, one of the icky parts of my job is to remove children when their home is unsafe and unhealthy. At CFSA, the mission is to promote the "safety, permanency, and well-being" of children. I have two kids who need to be removed from their mother's care. She is in an unhealthy relationship, she emotionally abuses her children, and she has relapsed and has been smoking crack again for more than two weeks. Unfortunately, it is my job to go in the apartment and remove the children, and in the process get screamed at and cussed out by the mother, and perhaps the boyfriend too. Now, I'm used to being screamed at and cussed out. But, when it is two people who are most likely high when they are doing it, it makes things a bit scarier. However, right now I'm just sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring. I'm waiting for placement to call me and tell me they have a foster home for the children. I don't want to remove these kids before I have a foster home for them to go to. Technically, I'm waiting for the mom to call me, as she was supposed to call me this morning. I don't want to call the mom for the following reasons: 1) Mom will yell and scream and cuss me out (not fun); 2) if they know that I am going to remove the kids, the kids will leave the house so that they are not there when I get there; 3) refer back to number 1. Yeah, maybe I'm a chicken, but that's okay. I like to come home in one piece at the end of the day.

So close, yet so far

I was so close. It was mine. I overnighted the lease to Robbie. He signed all three copies, 13 pages each, notarized it, and overnighted it back to me. I got it on Thursday. At last, the apartment was to be mine. Alas, it was not to be.



Robbie did not sign the first page of the lease. He did not realize that he had to sign next to his name (where it was highlighted). Unbeknownst to us, the first page was the most important page of the entire lease. They would not let me move in because, although the next 12 pages were signed and notarized, the first page was not signed. To get me into the apartment today, I offered to pay the rent for September upon move in. Well, now that might work, said Holly at the rental office. Let me call my manager and see what we can work out. Alas, the manager, both of the managers, actually, does not work on weekends, and apparently does not return calls either. Although they were called several times throughout the day, by the end of the Saturday workday, I had no news about my apartment. Now, I think that it would be fair for them to take a month and a half worth of rent from me, in exchange for a faxed signature from Robbie, and the promise that he will sign the lease first thing on Sunday, August 29. My new friend Holly, who I spoke to about 20 times during the past week, felt so bad about the problem, and really hopes that she will be able to get me the apartment, at the very latest, by tomorrow. But, that possibility is looking dim right now.



Even though this is all Robbie’s fault (he even ADMITTED it), I still love him, and won’t hold it against him. Well, not for too long anyway.

Grammar Police

I thought I had too much time on my hands...



http://www.blogger.com/knowledge/2004/08/eats-blogs-leaves.pyra



I think my sentence ended with an unnecessary ellipsis. Bummer.

Your online payment has been received

I think I must be the only person in the world who looks forward to pay day in order to pay bills. Yep. I don't want pay day to get here so I can go get that cute new pair of shoes or a fall purse (though, undoubtedly, there are a cute pair of shoes and a new purse that I would like to get). Every other Friday, I rush to get to the online banking website to ensure that my check was deposited. And in the following fifteen minutes, I distribute my entire paycheck to different companies that I am keeping in business: CarMax Auto Finance, Geico, Sallie Mae, etc. The newest addition to this paying frenzy will be my rent payment, which will begin with the prorated amount tomorrow morning. Yet, I get excited about paying bills. I realize this doesn't make sense, and that Americans would rather spend money on things other than bills. I would, too. However, it feels good to see the bills getting smaller, and eventually (hopefully within my lifetime), there will be fewer people for whom I am paying their paychecks. I know that too many Americans are in debt. I'm striving so that soon there is one less.

You don't know what bored is!

This is the third day this week that I have had literally nothing to do at work. Once in a while, one day a week, I can deal with. Three days in a row, and it feels like my time would be better spent elsewhere (like, at Victoria's Secret or, even better, sleeping!). I have had to resist the urge to just leave midday and go shopping or go and get my nails done during the middle of the day (some of my coworkers drive government cars to go get pedicures during the day, but I won't name any names!).



Yesterday, in my sheer boredom, I decided that I would try to learn html so that I could modify my blog. Yeah. That was a good idea. It took a friend a good long time to try to explain to me what I needed to do in order to modify it. I think he's glad I'm not one of his clients. Computer stuff, like html, completely baffles me. I don't know what I did, or how I did it, but I did manage to modify the template of my blog. Now, you can go to some of my favorite websites while you read about me. Incidentally, Mom thinks I'm a dork for having the Washington Post website on there. If you want to learn html, you too can become informed by taking a html tutorial.



Alright, that's enough about my boredom for right now. But look at my sidebar to see how completely talented I am!

Bed, Bath, and Beyond

Everyone keeps asking when am I gonna post again, which is cool because that means people are actually reading this blog. But, now the pressure is on to write something, and I just don't know what to write.



OK, since I wrote those first two sentences, I do have something to write. Robbie is psychologically stable enough to work for UMCP, and so he is moving up here! YAY!!!



My first dilemma is what am I going to sleep on when I move into my new apartment. I have no bed to take with me. I guess I'll be sleeping on my futon until I get a bed. I know it sounds like a lovely plan. However, I don't think futons are known for being incredibly comfortable. So, despite the fact that I'm very excited about moving in to the apartment and all, I may be very cranky next week from not getting a good night's sleep (and as everyone knows, the Moien girls' favorite past time is sleeping!).



So here's my next dilemma. I was all excited about getting accessories for my new bathroom at my new apartment (I know, I'm so easy to please). I wanted to get a very feminine kind of theme - you know, like purple, maybe butterflies, something like that. Well, now that Robbie is for certain coming up to the DC Area, he isn't keen on having butterflies on the shower curtain. He wants something more gender neutral. Isn't it just a bathroom? Does it really matter whether you have a plain blue shower curtain or one with butterflies on it? We discussed like a shower curtain with fishes on it, which is a possibility (if I can find one) and then decorating with one of the colors from the fish shower curtain. But then, I won. He said that I could decorate any way that I like. But I know he was just being nice, and that he would be much happier with something sans flowers and butterflies and everything feminine. So, I'll see what I can do.



In a week, I'll have my own apartment with the accessories that I picked out, and lots of boxes with stuff that I have no idea what to do with. I packed boxes this weekend, and I have so much useless stuff that I can't bear to get rid of. But, I don't know where I'm going to put all this stuff either. I'll give an example. I found my ID holder from when I was an undergrad at UMCP. I graduated from UMCP in May 2000. Inside this ID holder was every registration card from my four years at UM. Which means, I had 9 registration cards (8 semesters, plus one summer semester), and I did not want to throw it away! What use do I have for registration cards from a school that I have not attended for four years??? So I went against my better judgment...And threw it all away. It was sad.



The other weird thing I found in packing stuff up at James' house, where most of my belongings still reside, is finding all of this "us" stuff. Wedding pictures, shower pictures, honeymoon souvenirs. Neither of us really wants to throw this stuff away. However, neither of us wants to keep it either. We decided to put it all in a box, and put in the attic at James' house. No matter what happened in the end, there were happy times between us, and throwing away that stuff is like throwing away the good times and the relationship as a whole. It seems like, overall, both he and I are in a good place right now, each in our own lives, and in our friendship. We are getting along much better than I can even remember. And we both have a lot of good things going on in our lives.



But, I digress. What have I learned thus far? Getting an apartment is a difficult and stressful task to undertake. Waiting to hear about getting a job is even more stressful (even if it's not my job I'm waiting to hear about!). But most important, I'm growing up. I'm becoming a responsible adult (ewww!). Overall, life is good.

How uncomfortable!

I just had a conversation with someone I know who is having severe pain in one of his testicles. As a good social worker, I feel like I'm supposed to know what to say. So the first thing that comes out of my mouth is, "Oh my God!" Right, I'm sure that was completely helpful, and alleviated all anxiety and stress that he was feeling. And, I was right, that was completely the most unhelpful thing to say. He's like, "Why is it that when I have told anyone today that I'm having a shooting pain in my testicle, everyone says 'Oh my God!'?" So, then I try my very best to be a good friend, good social worker, etc. But, it's not really one of those things where you can say, I hope you feel better. And, I think that perhaps this is a guy's worst fear (at least physically). Well, I tried to be sympathetic, and help him stay calm and not be too worried, and gave him ideas on how to be calm until his doctor's appointment this afternoon.



I think I failed miserably.

Complain, complain!

So, I got my first official complaint about this silly blog...and it came from my boyfriend! Apparently during my first post, he was not mentioned enough. Nevermind the fact that it was more about ALL the things going on in my life, and not just him. But, I'm now going to rectify this situation.



Robbie and I have been dating for more than a year, although we've known each other for almost six years. (Give or take a few in the middle.) It's all my cousin's fault that we met in the first place, and here we are all this time later...still living 500 miles apart. It doesn't seem right, huh? Anyways, as long as he is deemed psychologically stable, he will be moving up here in a few weeks and taking a new job, and then he won't be so far away (ask me in December whether or not I preferred it when he was farther away). I'm actually thrilled about him moving up here, and scared that he is going to be moving in with me, in my new apartment. Hopefully he doesn't have too many little annoying habits, because I won't have a balcony to throw him off of. I guess I can just make him sleep on the patio :-P



My biggest fear about him moving up here is that he is going to hate living so close to the city. He's from a little bumpkin town in South Carolina, and is not all that fond of city life. So, I'm attempting to find good ol' outdoor stuff for us to do to make him feel a little more at home. If anybody has any suggestions, let me know, because I think I'm going to run out of ideas quickly.



Anyways, Robbie and I are very happy together, and we are very much in love (right, Pookie??). He thinks I'm God's greatest gift to the Earth, and worships the ground I walk on. It's nice to have someone wrapped around my little finger ;-)



Most people who know me will have already known all this stuff.

In the beginning...

So, I'm attempting to get all computer and technologically savvy with my new blog. We'll see whether that actually works. The problem is, I don't think I usually have anything incredibly interesting to say. At the same time, it might be fun to use this as a sort of journal or diary. It feels like I have a lot going on right now. I actually signed my divorce papers, so maybe I won't stay illegally separated or whatever for the next five years. I'm getting an apartment, if the apartment company can manage to not give away my apartment again. And, my boyfriend is moving up here after doing the long distance relationship thing for more than a year.



I've been living back at home for 13 months, so I think it will be really nice to be out on my own again. I think I may go broke doing it, but it wouldn't be any fun otherwise. My sister said that I needed to be an adult now, after living back with mom and dad (should I be insulted??), so I'm attempting to be one. I know that my pending divorce and all makes my family wonder about my sense, or lack thereof, and whether I know what I want to do with my life. Perhaps they have a right to worry; afterall, I guess that's what family is made for. I don't know what I want to do with myself. Half the time I think I want to go back to law school. The other half I get excited because my boss thinks I'm a good social worker. The problem is, doing the right things as a social worker sometimes feels very wrong. If you are a social worker, you probably know what I mean...



So, how do I go about being an adult? The first thing is to get my own place. Doing that in the DC Metro area can cost way more than should be legal. I want a one-bedroom apartment. Yeah, so if I want a one-bedroom apartment, and I don't want my car to get stolen during the night, AND I don't want to get mugged coming into said apartment, I have to pay something like $1100. Does this seem insane to anyone else?



Okay, since I should be working right now, I'm going to end my first posting right here. Yes, it's in the middle of a thought, and I shouldn't stop it so abruptly. However, I'm sure the next few postings will be about how I'm going to attempt to grow up and try to act my age. I'm sure I'll eventually figure it all out.